One day he’s gonna wake up and realize he made the biggest mistake of his life. He going to be haunted of the fact that my existence at that school is still there whether he wants to face it or not. One day he’ll want to somehow fix everything he screwed up, but he can’t. Because I won’t be there. I won’t be there for him to fall back on. I won’t be there for him to cry to. And I know X was right. He said he’s gonna realize it when its far too late. And he’s going to realize it when he can’t tell her things he’s told me. And when she won’t listen to him like I have. And he’s gonna wish I was there to tell those things like he used to, but nope. Sorry. Not here anymore…
Sorry face. It was your decision.
I’m still hurting. I don’t cry like I used to, but I hate the fact I still miss you. Not alot. Just sometimes. Maybe its at 11:11 and I still say “Make a wish” knowing you prolly say it to her now and not me. Every time I drive by that Honda Accord that NEVER moves, I want to go ask the owners what wrong with it and if they want to sell it so you can have a car. I still want to ask Matt and Brian everyday if they’ve talked to you just to see how you’re doing or if you have made any attempt at letting them know you miss me. Even just a little. To have some sort of satisfaction that you know you made a mistake. I don’t want you sad caz you know you hurt me. I want you sad, because you lost the greatest thing in your life.
But I’m beginning to realize more and more every day that I didn’t lose the greatest thing in my life. In fact I let go of the one thing that was holding me back and dragging me down the most. Its crazy isn’t it? That the best thing for one person could be the worst thing for another? HA. The irony.
And even though I say all these things… I cannot be sure that I was the greatest thing you ever had in your life. I still wonder if she’s better. How she’s better. How she completes you in ways I couldn’t. Or wouldn’t I guess I could say.
I just wonder….