Wacked Baking Instructions

It is time…

You know what time it is: its time to BAKE again! As I have longed to have that delicious treat once again I decide I will today have the motivation to bake something once again.I am excited. I read the recipe several times because I will always recount the occasion when I screwed up instant mashed potatoes–all because I was too imaptient to read it all first. (Okay I say i read the recipe several times, but really I just read paragraph by paragraph a couple times!) As I read the prologue of each recipe though, I recognize a problem. In fact, I am going to call it a “Recipe lie”.

It is at the the very beginning… It says :

Prep Time: 15 minutes

Cook Time: 1 hour 5 minutes

Ready In: 1 hour 20 minutes


Unless you are on a cooking show, I wanna know who in the world can Prep banana bread to be in the oven and cooking in 15 minutes! I know Miss Paula Deen and Rachael Ray can make up a platter to feed everyone in Heaven in a half hour, but my friends: it does not work like that in my kitchen.

It usually goes something like this:

Read Recipe: 3 minutes (I’m a slow reader)

Unload Oven: 1 minute

Find Mixing Bowls: 5 minutes (They are in nearly 3 different places)

Grease Baking Dish: 3 minutes (Find a dish and then find the grease)

Find Ingredients: 2 minutes

Melt Butter: 5 minutes (Maybe my family is weird, but we keep our butter in the fridge. I wanna know who can “mix” butter with another powder type substance while its still solid.

Measure (May-zure) Dry Ingredients: 2 minutes

Mix Dry Ingredients: 30 seconds

Measure Liquid Ingredients: 3 minutes

Find Mixer and Mixer Sticks: 5 minutes

Mix Liquid Ingredients: 1 minute

Mix Dry and Liquid Ingredients Together: 1 minute 30 seconds

Accumulated Wandering Time and Excess Recipe Reading: 10 minutes

Pour into Pan or Dish: 1 minute

Put in Oven: 10 seconds

Total PREP Time: 43 minutes 10 seconds

Tell me Paula, who “preps” your food to be prepped, becuase I know it sure as heck does not take me 15 minutes to put my long awaited delicious treats in the oven.

Total Prep Time: 43 minutes 10 seconds

Bake Time: 1 hour 5 minutes

Cooling Time: 10 minutes

TOTAL TIME INVOLVED UNTIL I CAN EAT IT: 1 hour 58 minutes 10 seconds


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