there are times I just don’t want to communicate.

I love just sitting and not talking, there are other times i feel osmosis should kick in and do all the other communicating

then at times I feel like I don’t know how to communicate. I guess to genuinely say how i feel I speak best through writing. Words seem to flow more smoothly and comprehensibly  when i write them out as opposed to trying to scramble out the patterns in my head and speak them within a reasonable amount of time.

But then, I’ve been told i can communicate very well when i speak in front of people, as in presenting. But i think that is relating information that connects little residency to life and requires a manner of such “bs-ing” the subject in questions. I guess I’m quick to think on my feet and find something to say.

But i’m a flop when telling how i feel. Face wants me to talk to him. Well what does he want me to say???  theres nothin about my day worth hearing and if there is he doesnt want to hear about it. He doesn’t care about my stories of what goes on at work. The people I interact with are people he doesn’t care about hearing about. The information I do find out and give him–he doesn’t really seem to care about. Its like i’m at a dead end and Ijust don’t know what to say. Like uhmmmm… what now is there to cover. Like i treid tellin him about the movie but he didn’t relaly seem interested. I try and talk to him about matt and tiff and how i feel and he throws his opinion around so i just don’t feel like talkin anymore. If i tell him what i’m doing is like nothing exciting here. I just don’t know what to say. He ridicules my way of being, i guess. I just forget how to be me sometimes. I talk to him ALL the TIME and like i just run out of things to say.  What the hell does he want??!!?

 

 

i’m just confused. I just dont want to talk to him. its so hard to communicate sometimes. especially when you just say the same thing over and over again.ugh!

 

btw. gijoe was good:)

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